Guest Blogger: Totes Inappropes

Fast becoming a local celebrity, ‘Totes Inappropes’, with over 42,000 likes on Facebook, is a blogger from Timperley, Cheshire who describes her blog as ‘The ramblings of a 43 year old mother of 3 unfortunate children who likes to booze, run and shop for bargains’. Being a fan of bargains ourselves here at Shoetique, and knowing Totes’ love for fashion, we just had to get in touch and tell her about our shop in Hale, not far from where she lives! Here she writes about her day out with the kids in Altrincham and Hale, where she also made an appearance in our shop.


“Good morning we are coming atya live from Alty leisure centre with one child sobbing with embarrassment at our tardiness. I have just had to walk her down the poolside and explain to Sue that she’s upset because she’s embarrassed about being late. Sue gave her a cuddle and confided in her that she’s more surprised when we are on time. I told her of my disappointment last week when we arrived triumphantly on time but she wasn’t there to witness it. We have surpassed ourselves with missing over half the lesson and I’m sure that it went quiet as I was dragging her along the poolside so everybody noticed. Aaaah never mind – **** it!

But I hear you ask, am I hungover? Well, I’m not bad considering. I had 3 gin and tonics and then fell asleep during goggle box. We weren’t late because I’m a gin addled *****, we were late because the whole family has spent the morning searching for Oscars football socks. He is playing in a tournament and so we have wasted at least 30 minutes emptying every wash basket in the house, every drawer and even under beds and stuff.

They didn’t turn up and so he will have to wear Teds socks. This is obviously dangerous’s fault and not mine whist he thinks that it is my fault. I have done my very ladylike dance in which I give him the Vs with both hands whilst singing “**** off, **** off”

Next we are off to Hale to buy some shoes as I’m off on my holidays to Anglesey next week. I like Hale but I don’t shop in Hale any more after an incident in a posh children’s wear shop. I had to buy numerous items in an attempt to save face after my 3 little ***** all climbed into the window and generally ****** the shop up. I need some Birkenstocks and so we are off to Shoetique. Wish me luck but more importantly please pray for the staff in this difficult time. At least I only have 2 of the 3 little s**** today.

Watch out Hale we are coming and we are going to generally lower the tone and cause mayhem. Property prices may be effected adversely.”


She followed with…

“Hale has just about survived us. The estate agents looked a little nervous but we weren’t there that long.
I have just been to Shoetique and got these beauties.
I love Birkenstocks. I ******* love the delightful staff in there who bought me a coffee and gave me them for free. If carlsburg did Saturday’s……….

My life is complete. I just swan around getting ace free shoes.
Thank you Shoetique!

Shop the full Birkenstock range at now. If you want to see more of Totes’ posts, you can find her on Facebook!

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